stress and happiness

I had a sudden rush of inspiration so decided to write this down before I forget everything.
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I was watching the Dr. Phil show on tv the other day and the topic was on Teen suicides and stress and teens. An interesting point I got out of the show is: "Are there really more stress in teen lives today or are teens today just too pampered that they can't handle the stress and choose to end their lives?"

So talking from the perspective of a young adult, I have gone through stress in my youth coming mainly from school, peers, parents etc. At that time, those stresses seem to be everything in life and whenever you finally overcome them, you thought it was over. But no~~ more stress builds up, uni/college approaches, we are closer to being financially independent whether we are prepared or not, and all other sorts of pressure builds up. Self-motivation books and gurus teach us all about the ways happy and self-contented and the media shows us that there are always people worse off than us. Sure, looking at countries wrecked by civil wars and natural disasters, I count among the many young adults that are truly blessed. Then why do we see suicide rates among the rise? And we are surrounded by people on anti-depression pills and those who look like walking zombies...it makes me wonder sometimes is it really so hard to be happy?

I did a unit called "Health and the Environment" this semester and I learnt that stress is a catalyst that worsens multiple sclerosis and cancer. So as our brain registers that stress is bad for us, can we really overcome stress and learn to be happy and contented? Probably not. Human nature makes us naturally greedy, not necessarily in a bad way, but we will always want something. Sometimes the "want" becomes an obessession, and we just can't let that go. So we tell ourselves, it's just a small "want", and me having it doesn't affect the rest of the world. But we don't realise that the subconscious thought of wanting what everyone else has it the cause of stress and it takes a toll on our physical and emotional health.

Talking about stress from our society: when we were young, we had to study hard to beat other kids. then as we get older, we need to find a job, find a good partner to build a good family. Then we want more money, more opportunities, more this and more that...and then we complain of stress and illnesses...and for those who cannot take it, they choose death over life. So at this stage of my life, I was looking through my facebook account and see my friends having wonderful lives and relationships, and I recently found out that my close friend just got engaged! So I have finally reach the stage in life where I could be attending my peers' weddings, and not those of my parents's friends. I have grown older. My mum has started encouraging me to socialise more and look for some "golden turtles"...and my main point is that I am aging...and with it comes all the stress of growing older...I am closer everyday to being financially independent, I am closer everyday to the day when everyone will start questioning my lack of relationships (in a not-so-good tone), I am physically older everyday, and what I can do when I was 16 is not always possible now without a struggle...etc...

I look back at the times when I was a kid playing with barbie dolls, I wanted to grow up so badly and do all the things grown-ups do. But I hardly knew what a grown-up's life was all about. Now that I'm grown, I wished at times that I was little again, in the protected arms of my parents. So after reading all the motivational emails and listening to the occasional self-help talks, I question the ability of the human self to be happy. What does it mean to be happy when we are faced with so much stress? Do I put myself in the eye of the storm? It sounds good but the storm moves and we would be forced out of the eye. What if we ignore all the stress? Then mankind would not improve because a little stress leads to competition and with that comes progress. So how do we find a balance? or is there a balance? Humans have searched long and hard for the answer, but it's an open-ended question with infinite number of answers. When the body is asleep and the mind is busy, I have pondered over the stress of life and the stress of finding happiness in my life. In the end, I can only conclude, amidst more self-questioning, that we can find happiness when we choose to be happy no matter what we do, who we are with, and what we possess.

There is always a choice....
... ... so I am smiling as I end this incoherant rant :)